Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Him

     It has been a long time since I have written last. This is my first experience with having to handle finals and the process of the completion of a year at college. It is absolutely crazy to me how fast this first year at Northwestern has gone! I have been abundantly blessed by the time I have been given here. I have been challenged, stretched, and have grown in ways I had not expected. I have made amazing friends. I have been blessed by the professors and their insight. I am so thankful to be able to be in a community with others my age that are pursuing God and His plans as I am. I am privileged to be able to come along side others and have others come along side me as we journey together. 
     God has really been showing me the importance of keeping my focus on Him. Lately, I have been feeling weighed down by the demanding way of life with its deadlines, assignments, and schedules. God has been  helping me become aware of how important it is to slow down and notice others. Sometimes I find myself so focused on what I need to accomplish and what I need to get done in a day that I do not stop to help and serve others. God has been reminding me how He is in control and there may be situations that arise that I was not expecting, but He was. Instead of staying so focused on myself and the tasks I have to complete, be open to altering my plans to serve another and go beyond myself, trusting that God has a reason for every interaction I have and every situation I face. 
   

     Over this past year, I have experienced the power  of God and the healing He can bring to any situation. He has really opened my eyes to my sin and the dark parts of my heart. He has brought truth and light to these areas. There is one truth that God has made apparent to me day after day this year. When homework and classes were stressful or when I could not seem to keep up with all the different deadlines or activities that I was supposed to, God reminded me of this one truth over and over: Any day that goes by where I have kept my focus on Him, then it is a successful day no matter how many tasks are left undone at the end  of it.  God desires our hearts. He desires time with us. As demanding as the world seems, in the end, those things hold no importance compared to our relationship with our Creator. Our identity is not in the things of this world, but in Him. When we go through each day with our focus on Him, He will direct our path. He will give purpose to everything we do. 

Author and Perfecter

   "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God...will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7, 19
   At the point of life that I am at right now, there are a lot of big decisions that I know I will have to make in the near future. I know that a lot of the choices I make now are crucial to the outcome of those decisions. It overwhelms me at times to think about this. Things like my major, my career and marriage used to be things that I would only daydream about when I was younger and it felt like those things were so far ahead in my future. But as I sit here today, it is crazy that I am almost twenty years old and these things are not just something I daydream about anymore; they are things that I am beginning to live out. Time has passed so quickly and seems to continue to. God has reminded me that these are not decisions I need to make. He is always with me and has a plan for each of these areas of my life. The verses above have been very reassuring and comforting to me. God will meet our every need and will give us His peace always.
   God is writing my story. He is writing your story. He is the author of my life and the perfecter of my faith. He knows what the purpose of my life is because He designed it. God asks us to trust Him when we become overwhelmed by big decisions. When we feel unsure of what the point of our lives is, God asks us to look to Him for direction. "Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always" -Psalm 105:4. When there are times in our lives when nothing special or significant seems to be happening, God asks us to stay right where we are, trusting that He will show us what we are to do. Instead of being bored or becoming discouraged by the lack of action, God asks us to use this time to seek Him. He has a plan for each of us. During these times, it becomes obvious to me of my deep need for God and how apart from Him, I can do nothing. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" -John 15:5. 

   God is writing each of our stories. He has a plan for each of us. We have no reason to worry. We have the gift of hope. We can trust that our God is in control. We are blessed when we walk trustingly with the Lord through the routine of our days. God will make things clear to us when they are supposed to be and when it is His timing, but in the meantime, we are to be patient and simply trust. Go to Him in prayer, seek Him and be comforted by the fact that God is the author of your story. He has a purpose for me and for you.

  

Praise

   It has been about a week since I last wrote. The end of this school year is approaching so quickly and every week seems to come with more things to do than the previous one. A couple exciting things have happened since I wrote last. First, I got accepted to be an orientation leader for the incoming freshmen next year. I am looking forward to this chance to serve and encourage new students as they make their transition here to Northwestern. I have my first training tonight, and I am excited to see God work through this opportunity He has given me. Secondly, I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about my major. I had felt that God was calling me into women's ministry, but I was not sure what direction to take with that, having either a ministry major or a business major. Yesterday I had the privilege of talking on the phone with a young woman who graduated from here a couple years ago. She was in the same position as I am her freshmen year. She was conflicted between ministry and business, as am I. After talking with her and hearing about her journey, I was very encouraged at the end of our conversation. I have changed my major to non-profit administration, and I am so excited to continue to pursue this as God reveals His plan for my life in this way. The woman I spoke with yesterday talked about a non-profit organization that she supports. It is called IJM, which stands for International Justice Mission. This is a human rights agency that brings rescue to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression. My heart so goes out to people in these awful situations and I felt God confirming that this was part of His plan for me. This makes me so excited yet also very humbled to be used by God in this way. 
   That is a brief update on some exciting things happening in my life. However, there is one more exciting event that has happened. This past Sunday, my family went to the Chris Tomlin and Kari Jobe concert together. It was so much fun being with my family and talking with each of them. It was also a huge blessing to be able to worship God side by side with them. Worship music is powerful. When people come together and worship God, it is incredible. The words to these songs are so rich and meaningful, filled with so much hope. Sometimes, I don't even sing, I just listen to the words and let the meaning fill my heart. 

   As I stood there at the concert on Sunday night, I realized that praising God does not require perfect circumstances. We are to praise God in every circumstance and every situation. I went to that concert excited but also very tired from the busy weekend and overwhelmed by the upcoming week, yet I was impacted in a way I have never been before. God works in everything and He works everything together for our good and every day I am encouraged in that more and more. As I looked down the aisle at my family and then around the whole stadium, at all the people reaching up to God and singing praises to Him, I was overwhelmed by God's power and reassurance to me.
   We have a reason to praise God at our highest points and our lowest. He has rescued us and redeemed us and because of this, no matter what the present circumstance is, we always have a reason to offer our praises to our Savior. He has given us a purpose in this world and that is something to give praise to Him for every day.

Shine

   I woke up this morning and there was snow on the ground! Spring seems to be taking its time getting here this year! On the bright side, when it actually gets here, I will be even more thankful and appreciative of its beautiful weather. I have been making a conscious effort lately to try to make the best out of all circumstances. It is difficult at times, but I have been relying on the fact that God has a plan for my life and a purpose behind all that I face and because of this trusting Him has become easier for me to do.
   Surrendering our lives to God is difficult. We often think we know what is best for us and hold on to our lives so tightly. I used to struggle greatly with trying to control my life because I desired certain outcomes and wanted to fulfill specific expectations I had. It scared me to put my life and my future into God's hands because I was so concentrated on getting the things that I wanted. However, I was not seeking God's will for me life and only after fallout and brokenness did I realize how weak and unknowing I am. When I finally surrendered my life to Him, I felt a reassuring peace. The pressure I had been putting on myself to make certain things happen was gone. I had always known God had a plan for my life, but I did not live in such a way that showed I believed that. I was not fully putting my trust in Him. 
   I believe the reason we become overwhelmed is because we are not surrendering our troubles and fears to the Lord. When I find myself overwhelmed or discouraged, it is always because I have been trying to control the outcome of a situation or a relationship. It is at these times that God reminds me of the peace I have in Him when I surrender every part of my life to Him. God has reminded me that when I loosen my tight grasp on my life and give my life to Him instead, He will restore, purify and renew. Philippians 2:15 says, "May you become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky." 

   We worship a powerful God. The hard times may seem unbearable or a situation may be very confusing, but when we draw near to God, He will bring us His peace. He will refine us so that we will shine in the darkness of this world. He will redeem our hearts and in Him, we are able to be a light to others. God has been reminding me of the power He has to heal and bring reconciliation to any situation, no matter how intimidating it may seem to me. Our God is so great. In Him our purpose is made clear and we are able to shine His light into the darkness of this world. 

Set Free

   It is very cloudy and rainy outside today. At first I was not super excited about walking around campus in the rain, especially with having an early morning class. However, I suppose rain is refreshing and a simple rainy afternoon can be nice once in a while so I am making the best of it. My nana came to visit me yesterday afternoon. She took me out to lunch and we went shopping for a bit too. I am so blessed to have her in my life and to have the relationship with her that I do. She is so wise and has so much insight to give. I know God put her in my life for a reason. I was very much encouraged by our conversation and am beyond blessed to call this wonderful lady my nana.
   This past week has been very eye-opening to me. God works all things together for our good. He has a perfect plan. This truth has been sinking deeper into my heart this week. God can heal and restore all things. I have often struggled with doubt; doubt that certain situations or relationships could not be healed. This doubt has caused me to put up a barrier between God and me. Over these past couple of weeks, God has exposed to me this doubt that I have been holding onto. He has revealed this to me and is reassuring me that I have no need to doubt Him. He knows all things and works all things together for my good. 
   Often times we feel tied down by our burdens and our circumstances. We feel weighed down by our sin and the sin of this world. We have trouble trusting in God's truth because of all the lies we are surrounded with each day. We doubt God's power in our lives and instead become frustrated or confused. We get so caught up in focusing on the difficulties of our lives that we lose sight of our Savior and what He has done to redeem us. We slip into following the ways of this world and becoming doubtful and fearful of the future. 

   Every morning when I go on my run, I follow a path that goes through a nearby park. There is a playground with swings and every morning when I get to that point, I stop and swing. When I was younger and living at home, I would often go out in our back yard and swing when I needed to clear my mind and get away to be alone with God. I find that I still do this same thing today. During this time every morning when I am swinging, I pray to God. I surrender my troubles and the day that lies before me in His hands. When I came across this picture, it was a perfect representation to me of this precious time I spend with Him.

   We are all set free in Christ. He asks us to surrender all our worries, pain, and anxiety to Him. We have no reason to be in bondage to our past sin and regret. God has forgiven us and when we surrender our lives to Him, we are free. He will give us the strength and courage we need to stand up for this. Through His grace and redemption, we are set free and given purpose.

Understanding

   Today is another gorgeous day that God has blessed us with! I went on another run this morning and was so thankful for the sunshine and the promise of a new day. It was lovely to be able to have the windows open with the sun shining through them as I was getting ready for school. It is one of my good friend's birthdays today so my roommate and I decorated her door with balloons early this morning as well. We had worship chapel earlier as well and it was so encouraging to be in the midst of many others my age worshiping our Savior. God's blessings are so abundant every day.
   I have had many thoughts on my mind lately. I have had many different things I feel that God has placed on my heart as well. I have to admit, I have been confused and unsure of what direction God is leading me in. However, this morning, I felt His reassurance and invitation to me to go to Him for understanding. He will make clear His plans and purposes for my life. He will guide me in my decisions and direct me in my steps. No detail in our lives is hidden from our Lord. He comprehends us despite our complexity and confusion. 
  He views us through eyes of grace and desires to renew us each day. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He asks to allow His presence to shine into the deepest corners of our hearts, to cleanse, to refresh, and to restore us. When no one else seems to understand us or when we're struggling to understand ourselves, God beckons us to draw closer to him. We can be joyful and rejoice because we have One who understand us completely and loves us perfectly. He provides us with hope, wisdom, and strength. 

   As we go about each day, may we remember that our God is one who provides us with understanding and clarity. Drawing near to Him, being in His presence, and pursuing Him will grow our personal relationship with our Savior. He knows what is best for us and works everything together for our good and His glory. At times He asks us to be patient and other times the answer seems to be clear quickly, but whatever the case, God will reveal His plan in His perfect timing. He asks us to abide in Him, to trust Him and He will make our path clear and His purpose in our lives known. 

I am the Clay

   It is absolutely gorgeous outside today. Spring is finally here! Over Easter break this past weekend when I was at home, I went running with my sister a couple times. I decided to continue to run while being back here at school too. So, this morning I went running through a couple different parks nearby and on a bike path along a lake. It was so beautiful. The sun was just coming up and the air was chilly, but so refreshing. In the past I have not liked running, but lately I found that I have actually come to enjoy it. It is a good way to start the day- alone with the Lord, enjoying His creation.
   In chapel yesterday we talked a bit about the concept of God as the potter and how we are the clay. I have heard this many times before, but it hit me in a different way yesterday. I always understood how God has formed us and created us as a potter shapes the clay in his hands, but yesterday that idea went even deeper for me. Pottery is fragile. It is easily broken and needs to be handled with extreme care. Our hearts are the same way. God has created each of us carefully. He knows every detail about each of us. He knows our hearts, what our passions are, and what we love. God knows that our hearts are extremely fragile. They can become tangled in webs of emotions. We can be led astray when we follow our hearts. Our hearts are easily broken, easily damaged. 
  God knew this when He created us. He knows that we are fragile beings and there will be times in life when we are broken and hurt. When these trials come, God is faithful. He is forming us and molding us more and more each day. He is shaping us to be more like Him. God has a purpose for every circumstance and challenge we face. Sometimes we need to become broken to fully know the faithfulness of God. It is at these times of desperation that we come to the point of surrender. It is at these times of brokenness that we realize our frailness. It is during times of weakness and exhaustion that we realize God is our only source of strength in this life.

   As we continue to experience life, along with its complications, heartaches, and disappointments, may we always remember that God has overcome all of these things. He has renewed and restored. His blessings are abundant. His mercies are new each day and His grace is made perfect in our weakness. There will be days where we will be broken, but God holds us together. He holds our hearts in His hands. We can be joyful in every circumstance because God is shaping us more and more each day to fulfill His purposes for each of our lives.