Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Him

     It has been a long time since I have written last. This is my first experience with having to handle finals and the process of the completion of a year at college. It is absolutely crazy to me how fast this first year at Northwestern has gone! I have been abundantly blessed by the time I have been given here. I have been challenged, stretched, and have grown in ways I had not expected. I have made amazing friends. I have been blessed by the professors and their insight. I am so thankful to be able to be in a community with others my age that are pursuing God and His plans as I am. I am privileged to be able to come along side others and have others come along side me as we journey together. 
     God has really been showing me the importance of keeping my focus on Him. Lately, I have been feeling weighed down by the demanding way of life with its deadlines, assignments, and schedules. God has been  helping me become aware of how important it is to slow down and notice others. Sometimes I find myself so focused on what I need to accomplish and what I need to get done in a day that I do not stop to help and serve others. God has been reminding me how He is in control and there may be situations that arise that I was not expecting, but He was. Instead of staying so focused on myself and the tasks I have to complete, be open to altering my plans to serve another and go beyond myself, trusting that God has a reason for every interaction I have and every situation I face. 
   

     Over this past year, I have experienced the power  of God and the healing He can bring to any situation. He has really opened my eyes to my sin and the dark parts of my heart. He has brought truth and light to these areas. There is one truth that God has made apparent to me day after day this year. When homework and classes were stressful or when I could not seem to keep up with all the different deadlines or activities that I was supposed to, God reminded me of this one truth over and over: Any day that goes by where I have kept my focus on Him, then it is a successful day no matter how many tasks are left undone at the end  of it.  God desires our hearts. He desires time with us. As demanding as the world seems, in the end, those things hold no importance compared to our relationship with our Creator. Our identity is not in the things of this world, but in Him. When we go through each day with our focus on Him, He will direct our path. He will give purpose to everything we do. 

Author and Perfecter

   "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God...will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus...And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7, 19
   At the point of life that I am at right now, there are a lot of big decisions that I know I will have to make in the near future. I know that a lot of the choices I make now are crucial to the outcome of those decisions. It overwhelms me at times to think about this. Things like my major, my career and marriage used to be things that I would only daydream about when I was younger and it felt like those things were so far ahead in my future. But as I sit here today, it is crazy that I am almost twenty years old and these things are not just something I daydream about anymore; they are things that I am beginning to live out. Time has passed so quickly and seems to continue to. God has reminded me that these are not decisions I need to make. He is always with me and has a plan for each of these areas of my life. The verses above have been very reassuring and comforting to me. God will meet our every need and will give us His peace always.
   God is writing my story. He is writing your story. He is the author of my life and the perfecter of my faith. He knows what the purpose of my life is because He designed it. God asks us to trust Him when we become overwhelmed by big decisions. When we feel unsure of what the point of our lives is, God asks us to look to Him for direction. "Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always" -Psalm 105:4. When there are times in our lives when nothing special or significant seems to be happening, God asks us to stay right where we are, trusting that He will show us what we are to do. Instead of being bored or becoming discouraged by the lack of action, God asks us to use this time to seek Him. He has a plan for each of us. During these times, it becomes obvious to me of my deep need for God and how apart from Him, I can do nothing. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" -John 15:5. 

   God is writing each of our stories. He has a plan for each of us. We have no reason to worry. We have the gift of hope. We can trust that our God is in control. We are blessed when we walk trustingly with the Lord through the routine of our days. God will make things clear to us when they are supposed to be and when it is His timing, but in the meantime, we are to be patient and simply trust. Go to Him in prayer, seek Him and be comforted by the fact that God is the author of your story. He has a purpose for me and for you.

  

Praise

   It has been about a week since I last wrote. The end of this school year is approaching so quickly and every week seems to come with more things to do than the previous one. A couple exciting things have happened since I wrote last. First, I got accepted to be an orientation leader for the incoming freshmen next year. I am looking forward to this chance to serve and encourage new students as they make their transition here to Northwestern. I have my first training tonight, and I am excited to see God work through this opportunity He has given me. Secondly, I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about my major. I had felt that God was calling me into women's ministry, but I was not sure what direction to take with that, having either a ministry major or a business major. Yesterday I had the privilege of talking on the phone with a young woman who graduated from here a couple years ago. She was in the same position as I am her freshmen year. She was conflicted between ministry and business, as am I. After talking with her and hearing about her journey, I was very encouraged at the end of our conversation. I have changed my major to non-profit administration, and I am so excited to continue to pursue this as God reveals His plan for my life in this way. The woman I spoke with yesterday talked about a non-profit organization that she supports. It is called IJM, which stands for International Justice Mission. This is a human rights agency that brings rescue to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression. My heart so goes out to people in these awful situations and I felt God confirming that this was part of His plan for me. This makes me so excited yet also very humbled to be used by God in this way. 
   That is a brief update on some exciting things happening in my life. However, there is one more exciting event that has happened. This past Sunday, my family went to the Chris Tomlin and Kari Jobe concert together. It was so much fun being with my family and talking with each of them. It was also a huge blessing to be able to worship God side by side with them. Worship music is powerful. When people come together and worship God, it is incredible. The words to these songs are so rich and meaningful, filled with so much hope. Sometimes, I don't even sing, I just listen to the words and let the meaning fill my heart. 

   As I stood there at the concert on Sunday night, I realized that praising God does not require perfect circumstances. We are to praise God in every circumstance and every situation. I went to that concert excited but also very tired from the busy weekend and overwhelmed by the upcoming week, yet I was impacted in a way I have never been before. God works in everything and He works everything together for our good and every day I am encouraged in that more and more. As I looked down the aisle at my family and then around the whole stadium, at all the people reaching up to God and singing praises to Him, I was overwhelmed by God's power and reassurance to me.
   We have a reason to praise God at our highest points and our lowest. He has rescued us and redeemed us and because of this, no matter what the present circumstance is, we always have a reason to offer our praises to our Savior. He has given us a purpose in this world and that is something to give praise to Him for every day.

Shine

   I woke up this morning and there was snow on the ground! Spring seems to be taking its time getting here this year! On the bright side, when it actually gets here, I will be even more thankful and appreciative of its beautiful weather. I have been making a conscious effort lately to try to make the best out of all circumstances. It is difficult at times, but I have been relying on the fact that God has a plan for my life and a purpose behind all that I face and because of this trusting Him has become easier for me to do.
   Surrendering our lives to God is difficult. We often think we know what is best for us and hold on to our lives so tightly. I used to struggle greatly with trying to control my life because I desired certain outcomes and wanted to fulfill specific expectations I had. It scared me to put my life and my future into God's hands because I was so concentrated on getting the things that I wanted. However, I was not seeking God's will for me life and only after fallout and brokenness did I realize how weak and unknowing I am. When I finally surrendered my life to Him, I felt a reassuring peace. The pressure I had been putting on myself to make certain things happen was gone. I had always known God had a plan for my life, but I did not live in such a way that showed I believed that. I was not fully putting my trust in Him. 
   I believe the reason we become overwhelmed is because we are not surrendering our troubles and fears to the Lord. When I find myself overwhelmed or discouraged, it is always because I have been trying to control the outcome of a situation or a relationship. It is at these times that God reminds me of the peace I have in Him when I surrender every part of my life to Him. God has reminded me that when I loosen my tight grasp on my life and give my life to Him instead, He will restore, purify and renew. Philippians 2:15 says, "May you become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky." 

   We worship a powerful God. The hard times may seem unbearable or a situation may be very confusing, but when we draw near to God, He will bring us His peace. He will refine us so that we will shine in the darkness of this world. He will redeem our hearts and in Him, we are able to be a light to others. God has been reminding me of the power He has to heal and bring reconciliation to any situation, no matter how intimidating it may seem to me. Our God is so great. In Him our purpose is made clear and we are able to shine His light into the darkness of this world. 

Set Free

   It is very cloudy and rainy outside today. At first I was not super excited about walking around campus in the rain, especially with having an early morning class. However, I suppose rain is refreshing and a simple rainy afternoon can be nice once in a while so I am making the best of it. My nana came to visit me yesterday afternoon. She took me out to lunch and we went shopping for a bit too. I am so blessed to have her in my life and to have the relationship with her that I do. She is so wise and has so much insight to give. I know God put her in my life for a reason. I was very much encouraged by our conversation and am beyond blessed to call this wonderful lady my nana.
   This past week has been very eye-opening to me. God works all things together for our good. He has a perfect plan. This truth has been sinking deeper into my heart this week. God can heal and restore all things. I have often struggled with doubt; doubt that certain situations or relationships could not be healed. This doubt has caused me to put up a barrier between God and me. Over these past couple of weeks, God has exposed to me this doubt that I have been holding onto. He has revealed this to me and is reassuring me that I have no need to doubt Him. He knows all things and works all things together for my good. 
   Often times we feel tied down by our burdens and our circumstances. We feel weighed down by our sin and the sin of this world. We have trouble trusting in God's truth because of all the lies we are surrounded with each day. We doubt God's power in our lives and instead become frustrated or confused. We get so caught up in focusing on the difficulties of our lives that we lose sight of our Savior and what He has done to redeem us. We slip into following the ways of this world and becoming doubtful and fearful of the future. 

   Every morning when I go on my run, I follow a path that goes through a nearby park. There is a playground with swings and every morning when I get to that point, I stop and swing. When I was younger and living at home, I would often go out in our back yard and swing when I needed to clear my mind and get away to be alone with God. I find that I still do this same thing today. During this time every morning when I am swinging, I pray to God. I surrender my troubles and the day that lies before me in His hands. When I came across this picture, it was a perfect representation to me of this precious time I spend with Him.

   We are all set free in Christ. He asks us to surrender all our worries, pain, and anxiety to Him. We have no reason to be in bondage to our past sin and regret. God has forgiven us and when we surrender our lives to Him, we are free. He will give us the strength and courage we need to stand up for this. Through His grace and redemption, we are set free and given purpose.

Understanding

   Today is another gorgeous day that God has blessed us with! I went on another run this morning and was so thankful for the sunshine and the promise of a new day. It was lovely to be able to have the windows open with the sun shining through them as I was getting ready for school. It is one of my good friend's birthdays today so my roommate and I decorated her door with balloons early this morning as well. We had worship chapel earlier as well and it was so encouraging to be in the midst of many others my age worshiping our Savior. God's blessings are so abundant every day.
   I have had many thoughts on my mind lately. I have had many different things I feel that God has placed on my heart as well. I have to admit, I have been confused and unsure of what direction God is leading me in. However, this morning, I felt His reassurance and invitation to me to go to Him for understanding. He will make clear His plans and purposes for my life. He will guide me in my decisions and direct me in my steps. No detail in our lives is hidden from our Lord. He comprehends us despite our complexity and confusion. 
  He views us through eyes of grace and desires to renew us each day. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He asks to allow His presence to shine into the deepest corners of our hearts, to cleanse, to refresh, and to restore us. When no one else seems to understand us or when we're struggling to understand ourselves, God beckons us to draw closer to him. We can be joyful and rejoice because we have One who understand us completely and loves us perfectly. He provides us with hope, wisdom, and strength. 

   As we go about each day, may we remember that our God is one who provides us with understanding and clarity. Drawing near to Him, being in His presence, and pursuing Him will grow our personal relationship with our Savior. He knows what is best for us and works everything together for our good and His glory. At times He asks us to be patient and other times the answer seems to be clear quickly, but whatever the case, God will reveal His plan in His perfect timing. He asks us to abide in Him, to trust Him and He will make our path clear and His purpose in our lives known. 

I am the Clay

   It is absolutely gorgeous outside today. Spring is finally here! Over Easter break this past weekend when I was at home, I went running with my sister a couple times. I decided to continue to run while being back here at school too. So, this morning I went running through a couple different parks nearby and on a bike path along a lake. It was so beautiful. The sun was just coming up and the air was chilly, but so refreshing. In the past I have not liked running, but lately I found that I have actually come to enjoy it. It is a good way to start the day- alone with the Lord, enjoying His creation.
   In chapel yesterday we talked a bit about the concept of God as the potter and how we are the clay. I have heard this many times before, but it hit me in a different way yesterday. I always understood how God has formed us and created us as a potter shapes the clay in his hands, but yesterday that idea went even deeper for me. Pottery is fragile. It is easily broken and needs to be handled with extreme care. Our hearts are the same way. God has created each of us carefully. He knows every detail about each of us. He knows our hearts, what our passions are, and what we love. God knows that our hearts are extremely fragile. They can become tangled in webs of emotions. We can be led astray when we follow our hearts. Our hearts are easily broken, easily damaged. 
  God knew this when He created us. He knows that we are fragile beings and there will be times in life when we are broken and hurt. When these trials come, God is faithful. He is forming us and molding us more and more each day. He is shaping us to be more like Him. God has a purpose for every circumstance and challenge we face. Sometimes we need to become broken to fully know the faithfulness of God. It is at these times of desperation that we come to the point of surrender. It is at these times of brokenness that we realize our frailness. It is during times of weakness and exhaustion that we realize God is our only source of strength in this life.

   As we continue to experience life, along with its complications, heartaches, and disappointments, may we always remember that God has overcome all of these things. He has renewed and restored. His blessings are abundant. His mercies are new each day and His grace is made perfect in our weakness. There will be days where we will be broken, but God holds us together. He holds our hearts in His hands. We can be joyful in every circumstance because God is shaping us more and more each day to fulfill His purposes for each of our lives.

By His Wounds

   Today is Good Friday. We remember Christ's selfless act of love for us as He died on the cross for our sins, taking our place. God sent His son to die a painful, brutal death so that we may have the gift of eternal life. This is the love that Christ has for us, selfless, pure, and perfect. As I sit here, reflecting on the meaning of this day and how Jesus put down His life to save me, I am humbled and beyond grateful. We cannot fathom God's love for us; it is unconditional and immeasurable. He laid down His life, taking a death that was meant for us because of the love that He has for us. This day changed history and has forever changed me.
   I believe the reason we find it difficult to trust in God's love for us is because we have become so accustomed to doubting, doubting motives, outcomes, and relationships. We live in a world where the word "love" has been tainted and thrown around carelessly. Love is too often based on personal gain rather than serving another. Because of this shifted view, we have trouble fully understanding and grasping the love of Christ. However, God already knew this and yet, still pursues us. 
   Jesus was sent to earth, knowing full well His purpose for being here. On this day so many years ago, He was betrayed, beaten, mocked, and crucified. He took upon Him the sin of the entire world. He remembered our name and died in our place. He knew that we would sin against Him, but He died for us anyway. He knew that we would doubt Him, but He took our penalty anyway. He knew that we would fail, but He loves us anyway. 

   "I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! For I have overcome the world and will give you peace."
- John 16:33 
   As we go through this day, reflecting on God's death and His love for us, may we also remember that we have no reason to be discouraged or to be afraid. God made a way for our sins to be forgiven and for us to have eternal life someday with Him. We worship a God whose love is everlasting. He has overcome the world and all its sin. By His wounds, we are healed. We are forgiven. We are made new and we have a purpose. 

Give Thanks

   I go home tomorrow. My dad is picking me up tomorrow afternoon. It is crazy to think back to all of the times that I have made the trip home and back throughout this year and now this will be the last time I go back until I go home for the summer...time is flying. I am eating strawberries and drinking raspberry lemonade as I sit on the top floor of the library by a big window overlooking the lake below. The sun is shining bright today and is shining over the homework that is laying on the table in front of me. As overwhelming as homework can be at times, I am realizing how much I love to learn and the sense of accomplishment I have when I have completed an assignment well. I am wearing my favorite cardigan today and no coat because it is so gorgeous outside! I brought out the bright turquoise flats today too, exposing my tattoo that has been hibernating all winter. It is such a sweet reminder to me of the peace that I have in Jesus Christ wherever I go and in any circumstance I face. 

   These are just a few of the precious, simple things that I have recognized as gifts from God today. Last week in chapel, we had a speaker come in and talk about giving thanks to God and recognizing the work He has done in our lives. It really got me thinking of how often I let these gifts pass me by without offering my thanks up to God. I know a lot of people that journal and recognize God's work in their lives through reflection in their writing. Others I know keep a list of things that they are thankful for. They refer to the list in times of difficulty as a reminder of the many blessings that they have in their life. Personally, I have been writing down one thing I am thankful for each day on a post-it note and putting the post-its above my desk so I can see them every day. I write down something that God has revealed to me or taught me that day.
   When I look over at the bright colored post-its every morning when I wake up, I can't help but smile as I remember how faithful God is to me. It is always exciting as I anticipate what I will experience that day and what will end up on the post-it note that night. When I go to bed, it is always encouraging to look over to my desk and see all my post-it notes, each one representing God's work and presence in my life; the joy, love, and peace He brings me in so many different ways.

   Every day we are given is a reason to be thankful. God provides us with exactly what we need exactly when we need it. It is difficult to do this at times, but we are called to give thanks in all circumstances. We worship a faithful God; He is so good. Each day He gives us is filled with His blessings and His grace. When we take the time to recognize these things in our lives, the difficult times are not as tough because we know that our God is looking after us, continually blessing us. God's purpose for us is great. We have a reason to praise God for all He has done in our lives and all that He will continue to do in us.

A Gift

   It is feeling a lot more like spring today. The sun is shining and I did not have to wear my mittens for the first time in months while walking to class this morning. It has been a long winter, but it is crazy how fast this school year has gone for me and how quickly summer is approaching. I am looking forward to summer break and being back home. I am so blessed to have the experience of being at this school. Each day that goes by is a reminder that this year is quickly coming to an end and each moment is so precious and valuable.
   God has a purpose for each day of our lives. He asks us to focus on today and not to be distracted by or anxious about the future. In His time, He will reveal His plan for us. Since we are human, we become impatient easily. We want to know answers and have results right away. It makes us nervous to have to wait. We often desire to have power and control in our lives. We fail to put our trust in God and instead we put it in others things; things such as people, relationships, our status, the world; things that disappoint us, let us down and leave us empty and confused. 
   God never said that by believing and trusting in Him life would be easy. It is full of difficult circumstances and different challenges. However, He also promised that we would never be alone. He is always with us giving us strength, courage, and a purpose. He has given us each day as a gift for us to seek Him more.

   When we take each day one at a time, we are able to truly enjoy and be blessed by each gift God has given us that day. It is good to be fully present in every situation. You never know how God will speak to you or how a certain moment may impact your life. God works in unexpected ways. By following Him and focusing on each day one at a time, God will show us the purpose that He created us for. 

In Christ

   This week is a short school week for me. Easter break starts on Friday. I am excited. It will be nice to spend some time with my family, celebrating our risen Lord and Savior. This will be the last time I go home until I am done with school for the year. I have been going home every other weekend to work, but I want to focus on my school work as the year comes to an end. I also want to spend as much time as I can with the friends I have made here before we all go our separate ways over the summer. I am abundantly blessed by the people here and want to finish off the school year with them. 
   God has been continually reminding me that my identity is in Him and in Him alone. I have been experiencing the peace that comes from resting in my Father's plan. God has been showing me the strength and confidence He provides when I my identity is in Him. I have no reason to be fearful or intimidated by anything because my worth is from God. It is determined by this world. God has been reminding me who I am in Christ.
   So often we get caught up in what the world's opinion of us is. We receive so many false messages about who we are every day and fall into the trap of believing that they are truth. We doubt if our personalities or appearance are good enough. We question our self-worth. We believe the lies about what we should be like or how we should act. We become confused and disappointed because we keep searching for solutions that will never fulfill the longing we are trying to fill. I find myself doing this often and I become frustrated. I am so thankful for a faithful God, One that never gives up on me and pursues my heart relentlessly. 

   Our joy and security is robbed when we begin to compare ourselves to the world's standards. We lose self-confidence because our confidence is relying on faulty circumstances. When we put our hope and identity in Christ alone, we are filled with His peace and experience His love. We are a new creation. We are forgiven and free. Our future may be unknown to us, but we can be reassured that our God will make it clear to us in His time as we seek His plan for our lives. In Christ, we have a purpose on this earth.

Blessings

   I am thankful for the sunshine today. This long winter is getting...well, too long. The hope of spring is here. What a beautiful day to begin the weekend. I am looking forward to time to refuel and catch up on some sleep. I am excited to spend time with friends and get ahead in a few of my classes. It really is the little things in life that can bring so much joy to life. I honestly get so excited when I think about making a cup of tea or taking a hot bubble bath, having a good conversation with a close friend or cuddling up in a blanket. These are such little things but they really do bring happiness to my life. I am blessed.
   I have really been seeking God during my time here at Northwestern. Through my classes, through the lessons taught in chapel and through the different conversations I have had with the people here, God has revealed Himself to me. I have been challenged in my faith. I have been encouraged in my faith. I have made some of the best, genuine friendships I have ever had. I have learned to encourage others and to support others in ways that I have never had to before. I have been pushed out of my comfort zone at times, but it has helped me grow into the person I know God is calling me to be. I am much more secure in my identity in Christ and trusting in the plan He has for me.
   I have learned to count my blessings rather than my frustrations. I have learned to focus on how to utilize the strengths God has gifted me with rather than getting discouraged by my weaknesses. I have learned to be thankful for the gifts God has given me rather than having a heart of discontentment. I have found my identity in Jesus Christ rather than the world. I have found that true joy comes from spending time with my Heavenly Father. I have learned that having a beautiful heart is much more valuable than having a beautiful appearance. I have learned that serving others brings more fulfillment than serving myself. I have learned that prayer is powerful. I can see God's hand in the beauty of His creation around me. I have learned to find God's blessing in every day circumstances.

   Daisies are my favorite flower. They are beautiful on the outside, but to me they are also a symbol of hope. This past summer I was struggling through some difficult circumstances. I was on a walk one evening on the sidewalk in my neighborhood. As I was walking up the hill back to my house, I came across a white daisy. It had grown through the crack in the sidewalk. I was amazed. God knew daisies are my favorite flower and I believe He put that daisy in my path to remind me of His faithfulness to me; how He will restore my spirit, bringing beauty to it once again. Looking back to that summer night to where I am now, that is exactly what God has done. 
   Whether it is daisies or sunshine on a winter day, God is active and alive in everything. I have learned to find hope and joy in the ordinary things in life because with God nothing is ordinary. He can use anything to get our attention and He is faithful to us through every situation. It is amazing how when you begin to focus on God, everything becomes clearer. Purpose is given to ordinary things. Joy is found in simple circumstances. Blessings are discovered every day because God is present and alive. 

Authentic Relationships

   I am feeling especially thankful for my family today. At the end of one of my classes this morning, I checked my phone to find four text messages, two from my sister, one from my mom and one from my dad. I had to chuckle to myself. I enjoy the independence and freedom I am gaining by living away from them, but my relationships with them will always be so precious to me. Throughout my middle school and some of my high school years, I took my relationships with my family members for granted too often. When I moved here to go to school, I realized how important these relationships are to me and my deep desire to strengthen them. God has been showing me the importance of having authentic relationships, with my family and with other believers. 
   Today in one of my classes, the professor was talking about how having authentic relationships with other believers will lessen the temptations in our lives because of the accountability and encouragement those kinds of relationships bring. That made so much sense to me. It seems so obvious, yet we struggle with this daily. He discussed how our thoughts turn into words and our words into our behaviors. It is a slow fade. When we have those authentic relationships, people willing to call us out when they see sin in our lives, we have that support and encouragement to help us as we work through those different situations. 
   God has placed people in our lives and blessed us with the opportunity to have these kinds of relationships, rooted in His truth and love. However, I know there have been times in my life where authenticity has scared me because I was trying so hard to appear "put together" on the outside. We know that being real with someone else will require us to look at our hearts, look at our inner world. It means being vulnerable and open to someone else. It means admitting to those mistakes, struggles, and regrets we have, instead of burying them deeper or ignoring them. 

    
   God has placed people in all of our lives for this purpose; people to guide us, support us, protect us, and confront us, people to challenge us, encourage us, and pray for us. People that will be faithful to us in good times and bad times. People who accept us for who we are and encourage us as we seek out our identity in Christ. God is using us in this way in other people's lives as well. Through God's work in us, we can help others and show them God's love. Having these authentic relationships in our lives will help us grow into the people that God has created us to be.

Contentment

   It has been quite a week so far, very busy and exciting with the end of the school year coming to an end and all the different activities that go along with that. I have started a couple new classes with four quarter starting, Biblical Worldview and Personal Responsibility, along with Principles of Biblical Interpretation. I already know that both classes are going to challenge me, but both are going to deepen my faith and understanding of God's word as well. I am excited for what God is going to reveal to me through the opportunity to take these classes.
   I have talked a lot lately about obstacles that we face in this life. I think this is because I have recently been feeling overwhelmed by my own challenges. God has been showing me what it means to be content right where I'm at, despite the circumstances. Today in chapel, the speaker talked about contentment. She talked about how challenging it is to be content and that it is a life-long learning process. We seem to always be able to think of something that we think we need and then our lives will be better. We think if we have that certain thing, relationship, opportunity, image, talent, lifestyle, or circumstance then we would be fully content. This is never the case. Once we get one thing, something else always catches our hearts and minds. We end up thinking we need that thing too. We keep on living this way, always wanting the next thing and never being fully content where we are.
   There is no way we will ever be fully content in this life, not until we meet our Father face to face. We will always be let down. That thing we so badly wanted and thought we needed will never satisfy us the way that being with our Father for eternity will. Our contentment is not based on our outward situations, but our hearts and our desires, the things we decide to put our time, energy, and heart into- these are the things that our hearts will be devoted to. When we spend time with the Lord and soak in His truths, our hearts will be there too. Only through spending time with our Savior will we come close to experiencing true contentment.

   I have definitely went through continuous cycles of thinking certain things will bring me joy or contentment and I am learning every day that this is not the truth. I have come to a point that being content is not about the fulfillment of what I want, but rather the realization of what I already have. God has blessed me abundantly. Instead of focusing on uncertain outcomes in my life or trying to use earthly things to fulfill the desires of my heart, I have learned that by focusing on the gifts that God has already blessed me with, I am content. 
   There will be many, many more times in my life that I am going to return to that cycle of thinking that something on this earth will make my life more complete or that I will be happier because of it- we all will. However, even when I do go through those times of doubt, I know that my God is faithful. He will pursue my heart. God is showing me each day that He has plans for my life and every day my excitement to get to know Him more grows. I am content because my God loves me for me. I am content because my God forgives my past mistakes and regrets. I am content through any circumstance because I know that my strength comes from the Lord. I am content because my God has given me a purpose on this earth that He is going to reveal to me in His perfect timing. 

Challenges

   Today is the beginning of my last quarter of my freshman year of college. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone. I can still remember move-in day and my first day of classes so well. I remember how anxious and excited I was for my first year of college. As I look back now, I have learned so much over these past several months. I have made such good friendships and have become so much stronger in my faith and in my identity in Christ. I have gained freedom, along with responsibility. I have become much more independent as I have adjusted to not living with my family. I have had to trust God in ways I never had before. All of these experiences have challenged me and stretched me, but I have grown in such awesome ways and I am excited to see how God will work next.
   I have been thinking about challenges I have faced in my life. Some of them have been very difficult and others have been small, but all of them have pushed me to even more fully rely on God. We all go through difficult circumstances. I know that many of us question God during these times. We set expectations on our lives and become worried when things don't go the way we plan. I believe God brings us through these challenges so that our faith in Him will deepen. I find it easier to trust God during good circumstances. When I am feeling happy, it is easy to say that I trust God based off of how I am feeling. However, God's faithfulness to us is not based on how we're feeling. He is a constant God, with us always. 
   God has shown me that even when challenges arise or when obstacles come across my path, I have no reason to be intimidated or full of fear. God is in control. He knows that these times in life will come and He promises to walk through us as we face each trial. He is sovereign and faithful in all circumstances. 

   We face challenges in our lives. Instead of being intimidated when these situations come into our lives, let these circumstances give us courage and strength as we are reminded that our God is sovereign. Let these circumstances send us running into our Father's arms. Only there will we find true peace, security and purpose.

A Faithful God

   Today I am reminded of God's faithfulness. As I have embraced God's truths and the impact that they have on my life, I am reminded how faithful He is. Through the hope that He gives us, the joy that He brings to our lives, and the peace that He provides, His faithfulness to us is so evident. God brings stability and purpose to our lives. He is faithful to us through every circumstance. 
   When we go through trials, God wants to be there with us. He wants to guide us, protect us and help us as we face these hardships. When we are discouraged or confused, God's faithfulness brings us clarity. God brings us hope and shows us the path we need to take. When we go through times of thanksgiving, He is there as we experience the joy He brings. His faithfulness does not depend on the situation we're in; He is a constant God and is faithful to us through every season of our lives.
   Even when we are not faithful to Him, His faithfulness to us does not change. We are His creation and He loves us unconditionally. He will not give up on us in anything. There are so many fall outs in this world that have to do with unfaithfulness and broken trust. We sometimes have doubts that we can completely put our trust in something, but we can be assured that God will never let us down. His faithfulness to us has no conditions or restrictions based on our performance. We do not have to earn His love or faithfulness to us; He has already paid the price for us to have this gift freely.

   God's faithfulness to us brings us hope, peace, and the constant reminder that we are never alone. God desires for us to seek Him and trust Him with our lives. He will never leave us or forsake us. He has chosen us and we are His children. As we seek God's purpose for our lives, we can be sure that our God is with us every step we take, everywhere we go because He is faithful and will never give up on us.

The Lord Provides

   Yesterday I was blessed to spend some time in worship at my home church. I am singing on the worship team this Sunday there and we had a short rehearsal yesterday. Afterwards, my sister and I were the only ones left in the sanctuary. We ended up spending some time just singing different worship songs together while she played guitar. It is such a blessing to sing and worship God with my sister. It brings us together and I can sense God's pleasure when we're singing. I was also able to spend some time with the high school junior girls Bible study last night as well. Since I am home this week for break, I was invited to talk with the girls. I really enjoyed sharing my heart with them and listening to their thoughts as well as their transition into college is approaching quickly. I feel very blessed that God is giving me opportunities to share His love with others, through my words and through song. I am very encouraged by God's work in my life and I am reassured by the fact that He will continue to. 
   I have really been resting in the fact the Lord provides. For a while, I was wondering how God wanted me to use my gifts and abilities. I want to serve Him and live out His purpose for my life, but I wasn't sure what that looked like or what I should do. This will obviously be a lifelong process in His time, but I am really learning that trusting God is so important. It seems simple, but it is so true. He will make it clear, in His time, what we need to do. He will provide us with the means for His work to be done.
  When I went to Set Apart, a women's conference last weekend, the theme was "Trust. Trust! Trust?" This is often the cycle we go through as we learn to trust God. Trust. When we rest in the Lord and the hope that He brings us. Trust! When we proclaim the truth the Lord brings us and are fully surrendering ourselves to Him. And then Trust? There are times when we have uncertainty and trouble fully trusting God because of the mistrust and broken promises we experience here on earth. God is showing me every day how His promises are the only ones that will never be broken. We can trust Him because He never fails and will never let us down. He is a God who provides for our every need.

   Our God provides for us. At times He asks us to be patient as He reveals His plan for us, but He will always provide for us exactly what we need at the time that we need it. Even though we think we know what is best for us at times, God knows much better than us and we need to trust Him and His plan. As we rest in the fact that our Lord provides for us in every circumstance and in our every need, His purpose for our lives will continue to be uncovered to us each day.

Persevere

   Today I am blessed to spend some time with my younger brother and my little cousin. Children are so full of wonder and imagination. I love the carefree way they view life. It is sometimes fun to step into that role for a bit and experience the wonder of this world with them. They are amazed by the littlest things and are always finding something to laugh about. They are so passionate and focused on what they are doing in that minute, not worrying about what the next minute will bring. I have enjoyed just sitting here watching them as they play. They are so adorable and so full of life.
  Something that has been on my mind lately is perseverance. I am on spring break right now and at some point each day of break so far, I have thought about all the things I need to do when I go back to school. Lately, I have been slightly overwhelmed by different situations in my life and circumstances happening around me. It has been difficult for me to push forward at times. God has been reassuring me that He is with me and with the strength that He provides; I will be able to persevere. 
   I was discussing with my mom earlier this week the tragedy in this world and the brokenness of it. Without my Savior and the hope I have in Him, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to have any. God puts purpose in our lives and a reason for us to push forward, despite the circumstances we may be in. When we reach those points in life where we feel hopeless, God reminds us of the hope that we have in Him. When we are weak, God provides us with the strength we need for each day. When we want to give up, God restores the passion and courage in us to persevere. 

   Our God is a God of peace, of hope, of life. He has plans for each of us and desires for us to seek Him as He reveals those plans to us. God knew we would experience weariness and sadness many times in this life, but He made a way so we may have hope in Him. This life can leave us feeling tired, worried, and overwhelmed. It can leave us feeling like we aren't good enough or strong enough; this would be true without our Savior. But the good news is our God cares for us and has made us perfect in Him. With Him, we are strong. With Him, we are a new creation, perfect and blameless. With Him, we are able to persevere. 

Comforter

   This past weekend I attended Set Apart, a women's conference that is held once a year. I went with my mom, sister, and nana. It was a very eye-opening experience for me. There were women of all ages there. It was a blessing to be able to learn more about God and grow in my relationship with Him in the presence of so many of my sisters in Christ. Although we were all from different places and came under different circumstances, our faith in Jesus Christ bonded us together. 
   I attended different workshops and listened to multiple different speakers while I was there. Ann Voskamp, the author of One Thousand Gifts, was one of the main speakers at the conference. She talked about letting go of anxiety and trusting in our Heavenly Father. She discussed the issue of how it is easy to say you believe in God, for even the demons believe in Him and know He is real. However, it is much different to out your trust in God. You can say you believe in Him, but completely surrendering your life, trusting Him and experiencing His love and faithfulness because of this trust is something completely different. 
  Along with this, she talked about our Lord as our comforter. One thing she said has stuck in my head and I won't ever forget it, "You have to step out of your comfort zone to experience the comfort of your comforter." This really made me think. God has a calling on each of our lives. He doesn't want us to settle and He doesn't call us to live a comfortable life. He has a purpose for us and asks us to go beyond what we consider comfortable because there we will be challenged. We will be stretched and grow in ways we didn't know were possible. At times it will be tough and at times it will be scary, but that is why God asks us to trust Him. He has a plan and He knows the result; trust Him and take that step. Our faith will grow deeper and our hearts will be changed.

   God is faithful to us. As He calls us to unknown situations and into unstable circumstances, He promises to be right there with us. He promises to comfort us through it all and will not leave our side. He doesn't expect us to take this leap of faith on our own. He will be there to catch us and guide us as we live out His purpose for our lives. We will become more willing to go out of our comfort zones as our trust in God grows. It is much easier said than done. When we say we fully trust in God, we don't know what He is going to ask us to do or what situations He is going to bring us to, but we can be assured that He is our comforter and we have no reason to fear. God has a purpose for all of us and asks us to begin by taking that first step. He will be there with us as we do and will comfort us during every step we take for the rest of our lives. 

Believe

   Today I am leaving to go to the cities with my mom, sister, and nana. We have tickets to a women's conference, which was part of my mom's birthday present. I am looking forward to spending time with these lovely ladies in my life and being in the presence of other women, as we grow in our relationships with Christ. The past few days I have really been wrestling with what God is calling me to do. I have always had a heart for people in need or who have been through a hard experience, especially women. I can't help but want to help them and do something to ease their pain. I have heard so many tragic stories and I want to bring God's love and comfort to these hurting lives. 
   Since the beginning of the year, my proclaimed major has been women's ministry. I want to work with women who are struggling and I want to encourage them in the hope that they have. The past couple days, this desire has only been reassured in me. This past Tuesday night, there was a showing of the movie, Trade of Innocence, at my school. I attended it and was overwhelmed by what I saw. The movie is about the issue of sex-trafficking. During the whole movie, my heart was racing and my mind was filled with a million thoughts and ideas. When the movie came to the end, there was time for reflection and prayer. I was overwhelmed by the calling God was putting on my life. I knew God had had me watch this film to open my eyes to the desperate need these women have.
   I had always had this passion, but didn't know what I was going to do with it. I have had doubts if it is really what God wants me to do. I have had fears of the uncertainty of the situation and worries about what the future holds. It seems heavy and unpredictable, but after that night, God made it so clear to me. He is in control and will show me what I need to do. All I need to do is believe in Him, trust Him, and take each day one at a time. He will direct my path and put me exactly where He needs me to be. I sometimes fall into believing the lie that I could never make a difference or impact and why would God choose me? When I have these thoughts, I become doubtful of God and the power He has. Then He reminds me, with Him, anything is possible.

   We each have a calling on our lives. Sometimes we can feel very intimidated and overwhelmed by what God is asking us to do. We may feel too small or too weak, but God is bigger and stronger than any circumstance we will ever encounter. Instead of being fearful, we can trust that God will lead us on the mission He has for us. He has a purpose for putting certain passions in our hearts. He has a reason for calling us to certain situations. He wants to use us to impact and change lives. God desires to work through us and asks us to believe in Him as He shows us what we need to do.